Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Randomize
