why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
