How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
