i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Randomize
