I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize