I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
