Pregnant stripper...not hot.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Randomize
