I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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