So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
