Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
