Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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