i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
do herpes really smell.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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