pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
