brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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