Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
