I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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