my room smells like sperm. sweet.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
