You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
