remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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