I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
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