Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
