i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
