he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
