God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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