Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
