Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
i now understand why vodka
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
