Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
