how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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