I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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