I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
