I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I feel like abortions should bother me more
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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