I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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