I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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