Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
