drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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