are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
