And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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