There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
