Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
