Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
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