I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
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