i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
