Grow some girl-balls and come out already
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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