Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
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