addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize