Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Randomize
