There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Randomize
