This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
