we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
