This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
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