Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
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