It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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