First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
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