Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
