Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
