Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Randomize
