So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
My balls are so social today.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize