Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
