Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
