Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
