my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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