Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
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