he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
