Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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