I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize