the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
