my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
