Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
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