I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
