Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I need to stop coming to work sober
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Never underestimate the power of titties
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
