her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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