he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Randomize