All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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