no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
My ass is underappreciated
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
