This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
they need to just BURY HIM!
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
