i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
